A Drowning Smile

from Patron Saint of Lost Causes by Kilpréz

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lyrics

How long
Has it been this way?

I can no longer tell
If it's been ages or days

Colours start to blend
As every day feels exactly the same

Slowly sucked into
A black hole

Terrified
Yet apathetic all at once

All the time in the world and time stands still
With an ever growing void to fill
Can’t wait to be free

All the time in the world and time stands still
With an ever growing void to fill
Crippling fear of the aftermath

No pressure
Yet crushed by the lack of it

A deep sea creature
Afraid of the dark

All the time in the world and time stands still
With an ever growing void to fill
Can’t wait to be free

All the time in the world and time stands still
With an ever growing void to fill
Crippling fear of the aftermath

Confined within the four walls of home
No one to be, nowhere to go
Every day amounts to
Talkin’ bout nothing, to no one.

When does home stop being home
becomes a prison
Where no one stops you from leaving
Yet you don’t go out
For nothing, or no one

Rinse and repeat
Nauseating

Solitary relief
A drowning smile
Takes shape underneath

Stuck somewhere between nothing and no one
Oblivious or just destined to fail

Agora- and claustrophobic
All at once

Can't stand the safety
Of this crumbling kingdom

Hyperfocus kicking in

Perhaps it's not bad that I’ve got time

to think for the first time in years

A chance to introspect, assess and

Reach a conclusion that maybe a

New normal is what we need

I've never felt so
Unsure about anything
My hopes and fears
Drawn and quartered

At least uncertainty
means nothing's been decided
Endless possibilities

I'm in control

My kingdom
Goes from wall to wall
Within it I can do
Anything at all

Not imprisoned
No shackles, no fear

Without expectations
No pressure, no peers

Freedom in limitation
I’ll never go back
To the way
It was

Rinse and repeat
Self-fulfilling

Solitary relief
A drowning smile
Takes shape underneath

Stuck somewhere between nothing and no one
Oblivious or just destined to fail

Agora- and claustrophobic
All at once

Can't stand the safety
Of this crumbling kingdom

Just because you’re alone
Locked inside a prison of your own mind
Your own home

Doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun, right?

I beg
For a new paradigm

Not asking for paradise
Just something that's
Not quite so

Unrelenting
Never ending

Overwhelming
Catatonic

Constantly in motion
Haven’t moved an inch in months

Hyperactive and docile

Pulling myself up
Would require anti-gravity

Someone take me away from this place

So long, stuck in this
Comfort zone of misery

Can’t help but feel
This is exactly where I belong

Left behind

Lay awake

Thinking back to a life with dreams

Stay awake

At least the living nightmare’s real

Lay awake

Sleep has nothing to offer but another day

credits

from Patron Saint of Lost Causes, released August 27, 2021
Written, performed, mixed and mastered by Jon Thor Sigurleifsson

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Kilpréz Stockholm, Sweden

One man´s mission to inject emotive sass into the complexity and aggression of mathcore and prog metal.

Proudly outspoken for sustainability, LGBT+ rights and equality. in both music and life.

Kilpréz's second album is in the works, slated for a late 2022 release.
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